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~ThE RoaD iS StiLL LoNG, BuT 0NcE y0u HavE kN0wN ThE WaY, ThE DisTaNcE iS No m0rE fEaR!~
Mirai~e - To The Future ^-^Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
My mother gave me so much kindness
"Embrace love and walk," she said over and over
At that time I was still immature
I didn't understand her meaning
She held my hand
And walked with me
Our dreams are always high in the sky
It's scary that they might not come true
But we still continue to chase them
Because it's our story
We don't want to give up
When I was unsure she held my hand
And walked with me
There were times when I hated that kindness
When separated from my mother I couldn't be obedient
Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
~it's all bout thoughts and feelings...
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Friday, March 05, 2010
When I need you
Just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you
It's only a heart beat away
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
Miles and miles of empty space in between us
A telephone can't take the place of your smile
But you know I wont be traveling for ever
It's cold out, but hold out and do like I do
When I need you
Just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you babe
It's only a heartbeat away
It's not easy when the road is your driver
Honey, that's a heavy load that we bear
But you know I won't be traveling a lifetime
It's cold out but hold out and do like I do
Oh I need you
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
When I need you
Just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you
It's only a heart beat away
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 08:03 pm by sacarstic
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Thursday, December 31, 2009
Pernah ada rasa cinta antara kita
Kini tinggal kenangan
Ingin ku lupakan semua tentang dirimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh bintangku
Jauh kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
Di sini aku merindukan dirimu
Kini ku coba mencari penggantimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu
Oh kekasih
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 02:18 pm by sacarstic
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Monday, January 19, 2009
cuba kau dengar
cuba kau cuba
diam bila ku cuba
tuk berbicara dengan kamu
pernahkah kau ada
bila ku perlu
tuk meluahkan rasa hati
dan bila kau bersuara
setia ku mendengar
agar tenang kau merasa
siapa
sebenarnya aku padamu
mungkin sama dengan teman lain
yang bisa kau buat begitu
dan bila
tiada lagi teman bermain
kau pulang mendapatkan aku
itulah aku…padamu
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 06:51 pm by sacarstic
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Saturday, January 03, 2009
I JUZ LUV THIS STORY VERY MUCH!
Kuala Lumpur: Circa 1980's a few weeks after the New Year.
This is a story of a cigarette, a beautiful, young Malay girl, curiosity, fate and destiny.
'Destiny grants us our wishes, but in its own way, in order to give us something beyond our wishes'.
Saturday morning:
Waking up early I thought about going fishing, but after finishing my breakfast I lost the mood and instead read the papers, then washed my car.
Around 10.30am feeling bored, I suddenly remembered a friend whom I had not seen a few years and had heard he operating a business at a mall in downtown Kuala Lumpur.
I then took a drive downtown to the mall and parking my car checked his address in my notebook another friend had given to me. I found his store on the ground floor, and noticing him talking to one of his employees, I tapped him on his shoulder.
He turned around and exclaimed in his usual Cantonese expletives greetings, "Lee!! Long time no see! I thought you joined the French Foreign Legion, ha ha, but Ah Seng told me he saw you in Johor Baru recently".
We then chatted about the last time we met. He had one of his staff to make coffee for us. While chatting and joking about old times, some customers walked in and I said, "Chong, I'll hang around outside have a cigarette let you conduct your business".
"Sorry Lee, yes, give me some minutes, get back to you in awhile".
Walking out of his store, I leaned against a pillar and took out my packet of Lucky Strike cigarettes. Glancing around I noticed a young, slim, very fair, pretty, petite Malay girl, about 5'2" tall, dressed in a typical long Malay baju and a tudong. (headscarf)
She was walking very slowly peeping into each store, pausing to read or look at the various displays in each store.
I took out a cigarette and lighting it observed her as she walked slowly in my direction. She stopped to look at the store next to my friend's shop and talked to a man inside.
She then walked towards my friend's shop pausing to look inside. She gave me a glance but continued to look inside.
Thinking she looking for something, I said, "excuse me miss, but you seem to be looking for something or someone? May I help you"?
As I when coming out of the store had put back my RayBan aviator sunglasses and even though was dressed decently in dark slacks and a pastel colored shirt, she eyed me carefully.
I don't blame her as she either thinking I was a police detective or someone who had nothing better to do leaning against pillars and smoking.
She smiled shyly, "ohhh, I'm looking for work...a job. Just checking whether the shops here any vacancies".
And these were mostly small Chinese stores selling from Chinese herbal medicines to toys or VCR movies for rent as well stores selling clothing material and children's dresses.
All had their Chinese God statues, idols with jossticks lighted on their alters in their shops. I guessed her age to be about 25.
Curious, I enquired, "miss, may I know what kind of work you looking for"? She was looking inside my friend's store, turned and looked at me.
She smiled, "ohh, anything,....sales, a clerk, cashier". I noticed the paper bag she was holding and was impressed she looking for a job this way. Her clothes looked like they have seen some years.
I then said, "miss, please excuse my curiosity, but what about the newspapers, they always have lots of vacancies advertised".
She smiled, and speaking in impeccable English, "ohhh, I've been receiving nothing but negative responses from all the adverts I sent my resume the past couple of months".
I lighted another cigarette, looking at her, intrigued as well impressed and enquired, "would you mind if I ask you what kind of salary you looking for"?
She giggled shyly, "sir, right now,...I'm not too concerned about salaries, as all I want is to get a job". Judging from her reply I could sense some desperation.
On an impulse seeing her eyeing me, I seeing in her eyes her desperation, same time apprehensive of my presence, a stranger leaning against a pillar smoking a cigarette, I took out my wallet and fished out my business card and said, "here miss, my business card, maybe I can help you".
I introduced myself, "my name is Lee". "Thank you, sir", she looking at my card and I guess now feeling slightly relieved at seeing my designation, 'Director, Asian Operations', my local office as well our European Head office addresses and guessed I was not someone trying to Shanghai her.
She then smiled and said, "my name is Adelina, sir". "That's a very nice name, may I ask what qualifications you have"?
"I have a degree in Mathematics". That sure surprised me, and she looking at small, Chinese stores for a job.
She then said, "sir, if you like I can show you my papers, I have them with me here", she about to pull out a folder, but I stopped her. I could sense she was really desperate to get work.
Then telling her to wait, I went back into my friend's store and seeing him still busy told him I'll see him another day. We shook hands and I walked back to Adelina.
"Adelina, I'm very impressed with you, lets go to that coffee shop", I pointing to the shop five stores away, "and we can have a chat". She smiled, "thank you, sir", and followed me.
While having coffee she wanted to show me her resume and qualifications, but I replied, "there's no need to show me, Adelina, I believe what you told me".
She smiled shyly sipping her hot coffee. Taking off my Ray Ban Aviator sunglasses, we chatted, I learning she had recently graduated from an Australian University with a Master's Degree in Maths, and had since been looking for employment without much success.
Impressed with her manners, her impeccable English but mostly her attitude, again on impulse I said, "Adelina, right now my office has no vacancies, but I think I can create one for someone like you. Do you by any chance have a piece of blank paper with you here"?
"Ohh, yes sir, I have", she answered excitedly taking out her folder and pulled out a writing pad.
"Outstanding, Adelina". She sure impressed me seeing her carrying her resume, qualifications as well a writing pad.
"I have to fly to Singapore very early Monday morning and won't be back in my office till Wednesday. I'm going to write a note to my office manager, and Adelina, I am going to offer you a job".
She let out a loud gasp, and exclaimed, "ohhh sir, thank you, thank you sir, thank you very much".
I then took out my pen and wrote on the paper, 'Dixie, young lady bearing this note is Ms. Adelina. Kindly create a post for her and do the necessary. I have seen and interviewed her. Will be back Wednesday', Lee.
Looking at her and seeing her excited face I said, "Adelina, you have my card. You take this note, report to my office by 9am Monday and see my office manager, Dixie. She's a very nice lady and she'll know what to do".
In my mind I can imagine Dixie wondering what to do with her or where to fit her in as we already have about 18 people working in our office, but knowing Dixie well, I know she will create something for Adelina.
Then looking at Adelina's excited face, I handed her the note and said, "oh yes Adelina, I almost forgot, you not concerned about salaries", I laughed, "but Adelina, we all have to eat, so what I'm going to do is offer you for a start Rgt 550 a month. And after three months probation you'll have a salary raise as well all the company's benefits. Would that be satisfactory for you"?
She immediately put out her hand, shaking my hand exclaiming excitedly, "sir,...I never expected a salary like what you mentioned, thank you sir, thank you. I will do my best, sir. I will not fail you".
(As a store salesgirl or cashier she would have earned max Rgt 180 a month).
"Adelina, I don't think you will, if you do, then I'll ask you to show me your resume", I laughed winking at her. I noticed her eyes moist as she took out a tissue from her small handbag and wiped her eyes.
"Okay Adelina, that settles it. Where do you live"? "I live in Kampong Pandan Dalam, sir".
"And how did you come here"? "Ohh, I took the bus, sir".
"Right, now that you going to work for us, there's two things you can do for me". I paused taking out my cigarette and lighting it. She looked at me enquiringly.
I laughed, "one, no need to address me 'sir', my name will do and secondly, I now want you to go home and relax, you've got work on Monday."
She smiling excitedly, "thank you, sir...I mean Mr Lee, I'll go home now and terima kaseh again, Mr Lee".
"Adelina, I'm free now, allow me to give you a ride home". She smiled, "thank you, Mr Lee".
She guided me to her house deep inside Kampong Pandan. It was a small wooden house, and a seeing a matured lady sweeping the steps I presumed to be her mother looked at us as I stopped to let her down.
She thanking me, I replying, "I'll see you on Wednesday, Adelina, welcome to the company", she waving as I then reversed and drove off, same time noticing two small boys playing underneath the house.
Glancing at my rear view mirror, I could see Adelina talking excitedly to her mother. She smiling and waved.
'Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried.
For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched them'.
Wednesday Morning:
Dixie greeting me as I walked into the office, "good morning Mr Lee, how was your trip? Can I bring you your coffee now"?
"Good trip, Dixie...yes, I don't mind the coffee, thank you". Dixie after several minutes knocked on my door bringing in my coffee and some business reports to look at.
Then smiling said, "Mr Lee, I created a post for Adelina. She will be doing our business projections, project costing as well checking, evaluating out all government tenders and translating them. I got David to guide and show her the ropes".
My mind busy thinking of the project meeting in Singapore, I had forgotten about Adelina. "ahh yes, Adelina. I'll see her in a few minutes. Any calls"?
After returning several business calls, I stepped out of my office looking for Adelina. She in a corner busy with her paper work did not noticed my approach till I greeted her, "hi Adelina, how you coming along"?
I noticing Dixie had got for her a new table and chair. She quickly stood up, "ohhh, Mr Lee! I didn't see you. I'm fine, thank you".
"Your work okay with you"? Just then Dixie joined us smiling at Adelina. I joked, "your boss not overloading you"?
She giggled, "oh no, I'm enjoying myself, it's just what I like to do, very interesting too".
Dixie saying, "she's picking up very fast, Mr Lee, and if its okay with you, I'll be sending her out to those government offices advertising their tenders to collect more info as and when".
"Outstanding Dixie, good idea", and looking at Adelina, "enjoy your work Adelina. How's your parents"?
"Ohh, they're very happy I'm working now Mr Lee, terima kaseh".
I was now busy travelling and flying all over SEA on business trips. Adelina had proven herself in her work and had a 30% salary increase as well benefits. She now confirmed as our Project Analyst.
She getting along well with the other staff and Dixie happy with her mentioning her highly motivated personality, and outstanding initiatives and ability to work without supervision.
I would notice she making calls to various government departments checking on whatever info she needed and could see she was enjoying her work.
It was about four months later when a very close and good friend of mine, a multi-millionaire titled Malay gentleman, CEO and Chairman of several public companies as well his own companies dropped by for coffee as well to discuss an oncoming project I was involved in.
He about few years older than me with Hollywood good looks and a pleasant personality.
"Hello Lee, waa, susa la nak jumpa you. Everytime I phone, you in Singapore or somewhere out of town or out of country".
Dixie in the next room waved on seeing him, he smiling waving back. Just then Eileen my secretary brought in coffee for us as we chatted and exchanged pleasantries joking about a recent dinner we had.
"Lee, how about you briefing me on that project in Pengarang"? "Boleh, but I'll let the person in charge give you some details first".
I then buzzed Dixie, "please ask Adelina to come over, tell her to bring that file on the Pengarang project, and I need her to explain our projections".
Seeing Adelina at my door I invited her in, "Adelina, say hello to my very good friend, Datuk Mohd Shariff. And Datuk,... Adelina, our project analyst".
He greeted her as I invited her to sit down, "Adelina, why don't you brief Datuk your findings".
She then opened her various coloured charts and papers on costing and expenditures involved, describing, explaining in both Malay and English.
I could see my friend admiring her as well from the way he listened to her, impressed with her description of the various work stages. I interrupting Adelina, "she is our laison officer and troubleshooter with whatever, whoever necessary or any project hiccups".
Later when Adelina concluded her briefing and returning to her table, he teased me, "Lee, lu mana chari dia? (Where you found her?) I'm very impressed".
I joked, "Shariff...don't you dare try hijack her, she's very valuable to us".
He laughed as I continued, "you would'nt believe how I found her".
"You mean you found her, not her applying for the job"?
"Oh no, I discovered her and got Dixie to create a job for her".
"Lee, knowing you" he laughing heartily, "I must listen to your story, go ahead, I got time, try me".
I then told him how I had met her and interviewed her at a mall. He laughed, "Lee, that's typical of you, helping strangers, but yes, you sure a good judge of people. Hmmm, pretty too and very charming".
I laughed teasing him, "down boy! Down....don't you get any ideas". He laughed.
About five months passed by. Arriving at my office one morning, I noticed everyone smiling at me. I nodded back thinking someone might have cracked a joke as I walked in.
I sat down and about to check out the files infront of me when Dixie knocked my door and came in, I noticing she carrying my glass of iced coffee instead of my secretary Eileen.
She looking at me as I enquired, "yes Dixie, you have a problem? You forgot to pay our office rent? We going to get evicted? I see you bringing in my coffee like old days, instead of Eileen".
She laughed, "Mr Lee, I would like you to take a big sip of your coffee now". I noticed she trying to control her smile.
Knowing her well, I looked at her and knew something unusual was coming up as I sipped my coffee same time inviting her to sit down. "Mr Lee, please take out your Lucky Strike cigarette and have a smoke".
I looked at her enquiringly saying, "Dixie, I think you going to give me a cardiac arrest problem, huh"?
I lighted my cigarette, "okay, shoot! What's up? You getting married, getting another job offer? We lost that Perak project deal"?
She laughed, "Mr Lee, none of that", she opening a folder and holding a gold coloured envelope with a small red ribbon attached, "I suggest you take a deep breath first".
I laughed, "Dixie, you're acting very strange this morning. This better be good"!
Just then I noticed Adelina sitting nearby and looking at our direction and smiling cheekily. Dixie handed me the gold envelope. It was an invitation card....a wedding invitation.
I opened it, the wordings all in Bahasa, but it was the two names I saw made me sit up exclaiming loudly, "WHAT THE....! Well I'll be a...", quickly stopping myself from saying a naughty word.
Dixie now laughing. It was from my good friend, Datuk Shariff inviting me to his wedding next month......and he marrying my Adelina! I looked again. Yes, he marrying our Adelina!
I looked at Dixie, I looked back at the card not believing my eyes what I was seeing. Then Dixie still laughing said, "Mr Lee, we now going to have a Datin working in our office".
'Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale'.
I was too flabbergasted to say anything and unconciously lighted another cigarette. Then looking up and seeing Adelina sitting outside grinning East to West, I said out loud, "ADELINA! PLEASE COME INTO MY OFFICE...NOW!"
I could hear loud laughter and some soft cheering from the staff outside hearing my loud voice calling Adelina. They all had their own invitation cards. Adelina still grinning walked in.
I then stood up and walked to her, then teasing her, "ADELINA! I employed you to work for us, and you getting married"?
Dixie and her now laughing knowing I was pulling her legs. She nodded shyly lost for words.
Then saying, "Adelina, would your religion allow me to hug you"? She burst out laughing, "Mr Lee, please do". I then embraced her, hugging her tightly, then feeling abit emotional said, "Adelina, I..I mean Datin,...congratulations! I feel so happy for you"!
Then looking at Dixie, "Dixie! I knew you did not give her enough work. See what happened".
We all laughed as I hugged Adelina again.
Dixie winked at me saying, "Mr Lee, have a look at her finger". I held up Adelina's hand and let out a loud whistle. She smiled shyly, "from Datuk".
It was a beautiful gold engagement ring with diamond cluster. It sure looked very expensive. I remembering at never seeing a ring on her fingers before.
Then invited her to sit down, "Adelina, I'm going to goreng and bungkus (stir fry) your soon to be husband", then telling Dixie, "get me Datuk now". Adelina laughing.
She called him, "Datuk? Good morning, Dixie speaking, please hold for Mr Lee".
I guess he was expecting my call. He has always told everyone I am his brother and had told me no need to address him his title. I then teased him, "Shariff! Didn't I tell you don't try to hijack my Adelina? You marrying her instead! You rascal...I better not invite you to my office anymore".
He laughing loudly, "Lee, I see Dixie suda hand you our card, huh"?
"Shariff! Baik pun saya muda lagi (fortunately I'm still young) or else now on the way to GH intensive cardiac arrest. You rascal! You sure caught me off guard! Anyway, Shariff, congratulations, well done! I feel so happy for you, both of you! I will certainly come for the wedding".
Adelina and Dixie giggling at my teasing Shariff, he still laughing replied, "Lee, I told Dixie to give you a box ten minutes after you read our card".
I said, "what box"? Just then Dixie jumped up exclaiming loudly, "OHHH MY GOD!, I forgot", and quickly rushed out as I told Shariff, "hold on Shariff, she getting the box now, dia pun suda kelang kabote, lintang pukang, lu punya pasal la, dia lupa". (She's all excited and forgot, your fault!)
I noticed Dixie calling David to help her and then I saw the big gift wrapped box, David carrying it into my office. It looked very heavy.
"Hold on Shariff, saya buka the box sekarang".
I opened the wrapper with one hand, other hand holding the phone and seeing what was inside exclaimed, "Shariff! Well I'll be a..", again stopping myself uttering a naughty word..."terima kaseh seribu, Shariff. But I thought you invited us to your wedding ceremony, why the presents to us"?
He laughed, "Lee...don't worry, at the wedding your drink will have Vodka inside, special for you only, ha ha, but the Champagne is for the staff, and the Royal Salute and Jack Daniels is for you.
I now say to you, 'terima kaseh seribu, Lee, and we will look forward to you and everyone to come".
In the box was three bottles of Dom Perignon Cuvee Champagne for the staff and a separately wrapped bottle of Chivas Regal Royal Salute and a bottle of Jack Daniels whisky, and a carton of Lucky Strike cigarettes, each with a small card, with words, 'for Lee, terima kaseh seribu, with our best compliments, Adelina and Shariff'.
I then thanked him saying, "hey, I should be the one giving you presents! How come you getting married, I get presents"?
He laughed, "Lee...just to say terima kaseh for introducing Adelina to me".
"Shariff, you datang office saya (you come to my office) about that Pengarang project, you hijack and marry my Project Analyst"! We both laughed. "Shariff, I'll be at your wedding, you sure owe me that drink, make it two"!
'True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does'.
Then taking the opportunity to hug Adelina again, said, "Adelina, terima kaseh, I feel so happy for you. I wish you every happiness in your coming marriage and all my very best wishes as you both go thru life as husband and wife. Shariff is my very good friend, a good and kind man, like a brother to me, take good care of him, and I know he will love you all his life".
Then Adelina surprised Dixie and me, as well all our staff who had gathered outside my office watching us and laughing.
I standing infront of her when she took a step forward and standing on her toes, embraced me tightly.
Then she kissed both my cheeks, and with tears now coming down her cheeks said in a stammering voice, "Mr Lee, you...you,.. will always be in my heart, I...I,.. am forever indebted to you, my gratitude to you,... and Mr Lee, it was my fate, my destiny to have met you that morning at the mall. Like you always say, and now I will say it to you, terima kaseh seribu Mr Lee, for being who you are, thank you".
Dixie and I could see how happy she was now as her tears of joy came out.
“We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans. And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate. It's just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there.
Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn't have expected.”
Dixie grabbing some tissues from my table handing it to her as she wiped her tears.
My thoughts now of that morning of how fate had played the right cards. I had changed my mind of going fishing, Chong having customers interrupting our chat in his shop, I going out for a cigarette and of how lighting my cigarette had noticed her.
Remembering clearly a young girl in a tudung desperate for work, walking from shop to shop carrying a paper bag, inside her resume and other papers asking for work, a poor young girl from a small kampong house.
A girl with an Overseas Master's degree in Mathematics seeking work from small Chinese shops.
And now she marrying my good friend, a brother to me, a multi-millionaire and she becoming a Datin. (Titled lady)
I noticed Dixie too wiping her eyes as I had confided to her how I found Adelina, as I quickly turned away and excusing myself headed to the bathroom, unable to stop my own tears coming out.
Today, Adelina lives in a mansion at an exclusive enclave neighbourhood in Kuala Lumpur with Shariff. Her parents too living in a big bungalow house presented by Shariff in Petaling Jaya.
She no longer working, but has the help of two maids caring for her two beautiful children and instead of taking a bus, she now being chaufeured everywhere in a Mercedes.
Both Datin Adelina and Dato Shariff have twice visited and stayed with us here in Toronto, Canada. Her parents too.
And every X'mas, every New year, every Chinese new year, we will receive their greeting cards without fail. Shariff phones us every few months keeping in touch.
We received their Christmas, New Year card two weeks ago.
And....I never did looked at Adelina's resume.
'It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself'.
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 06:31 pm by sacarstic
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Sunday, December 07, 2008
Benda ni dah lama. Bila ia bermula saya tidak pasti. tetapi saya sudah merasainya sejak saya berumur 10 tahun. Menjadi mangsa keadaan atas kesilapan orang lain. Segalanya hampir mencapai 2 dekad. Masih terpaksa melalui situasi yang sama. Saya dah bosan dengan kehidupan macam ni. Bosan mendengar nasihat seperti "sabar je la", "berdoa la banyak2" dan segala yang adik-beradiknya. Saya dah bosan semua itu. Tak boleh kah dia cuba hidup dalam aman dan damai sebelum segala-galanya sudah terlambat. Entah kenapa dia sering menanam rasa benci saya kepada dia. Ada saja benda yang dijadikan pasal untuk menimbulkan konflik dalam diri saya. Saya benci dengan kehidupan sebegini. Dia tak akan berubah. Kalau dia mahu berubah sudah lama dia berubah. Dia memang suka macam tu. Mencari pasal dengan saya. Saya sangat bencikan dia. Biarlah apa orang nak kata. Dia yang membuatkan saya bencikan dia. Bukan saya yang sengaja bencikan dia,
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 09:53 am by sacarstic
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Saturday, December 06, 2008
BUKIT ANTARABANGSA - SURATAN ATAU KEBETULAN
Tanah runtuh di Bukit Antarabangsa jam 4 pagi. Ngam -ngam 5 hari lagi ulangtahun ke 15 tragedi Highland Tower. At this moment 2 mangsa terbunuh, gerakan mencari mangsa yang terselamat masih diteruskan.
Now kat rumah aku hujan renyai-renyai. Rumah aku bukan jauh sangat dari Bukit Antarabangsa. Ada la dalam 15-30 minit naik kete dengan kelajuan sederhana ditambah lagi dengan traffic lite yang tak terkira dari area wangsa maju ke sana. Bezanya area aku dgn area Bukit Antarabangsa ialah tempat aku kawasan rendah, kawasan orang miskin, dan Bukit Antarabangsa kawasan tanah tinggi, kawasan elit.
Once family aku penah duk kat area Melawati, area bawah bukit gak tu. Tapi mak dah jual rumah kat situ. Lumayan gak. And now kitorang dok kat kawasan yang rata-ratanya dihuni oleh golongan yang tak mampu beli rumah, dalam erti kata lain mampu dok umah sewa je. Entah la mak, taste dia lain dari yang lain. Kadang-kadang aku rasa tak selesa, sebab tu ada plan nak beli rumah kat Seremban2, lari dari kehidupan di KL yang semakin sesak, menghimpit kepala otak dan jiwa raga aku.
Bila terjadi insiden Bukit Antarabangsa, nak beli rumah mahal pikir 2-3 kali. Antara salah satu faktor aku pilih myvi harga dia yang murah dan cukup la menyelesakan aku bergerak ke mana2. Beli mahal2 pun kalau banjir rosak gak, kalau tanah runtuh bukan leh terbang, kalau tsunami tenggelam gak, and kalau eksiden tetap kemek atau hancur. Camtu gak rumah, beli rumah mahal-mahal bukannya pencuri tak masuk, kalau banjir air masuk gak. At this moment aku plan beli rumah teres 2 tingkat, harga bleh tahan RM200k. Insya allah takde kejadian tanah runtuh atau banjir, sebab bukan area bukit, dan takde sungai berdekatan. Tatau la. Kalau ikutkan hati bagi aku cukup la harga rumah RM100k je setakat aku nak dok sorang. Tapi susah nak wat keputusan sendiri kalau ada orang lain yang sentiasa buatkan keputusan. Emmm entah la...
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 12:41 pm by sacarstic
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Aku wanita……
Yang punya cinta dihati
Ada dirimu dan dirinya dalam hidupku
Mengapa terlambat cintamu tlah termiliki
Sedang diriku dengan dia tak begitu cinta
Mengapa yang lain bisa
Mendua dengan mudahnya
Namun kita terbelenggu dalam ikatan tanpa cinta
Atas nama cinta hati ini
Tak mungkin terbahagi
Sampai nanti bila aku mati
Cinta ini hanya untuk engkau
Atas nama cinta kurelakan jalanku merana
Asal ngkau akhirnya denganku
Kubersumpah atas nama cinta
Mengapa yang lain bisa
Mendua dengan mudahnya
Namun kita terbelenggu dalam ikatan tanpa cinta
Atas nama cinta
Hati ini tak mungkin terbahagi
Sampai nanti bila aku mati
Cinta ini hanya untuk engkau
Atas nama cinta
Atas nama cinta kurelakan jalanku merana
Asal ngkau akhirnya denganku
Kubersumpah atas nama cinta
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 10:19 am by sacarstic
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Monday, November 24, 2008
~Takkan Berpaling Darimu~
Kala malam bersihkan wajahnya dari bintang-bintang
Dan mulai turun setitis air langit dari tubuhnya
Tanpa sedar nikmatnya alam kerana kuasa Mu
Yang tak akan habis sampai di akhir waktu perjalanan ini
Terima kasih ku padamu Tuhanku
Tak mungkin dapat terlukis oleh kata-kata
Hanya Dirimu yang tahu besar rasa cintaku pada Mu
Oh Tuhan anugerah Mu tak pernah berhenti
selalu datang kepadaku Tuhan semesta alam
dan satu janjiku tak kan berpaling dari Mu
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 05:20 pm by sacarstic
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Sunday, November 23, 2008
I miss my ray badly huk huk huk
tiba saatnya kita saling bicara
tentang perasaan yang kian menyiksa
tentang rindu yang menggebu
tentang cinta yang tak terungkap
sudah terlalu lama kita berdiam
tenggelam dalam gelisah yang tak teredam
memenuhi mimpi-mimpi malam kita
duhai cintaku, sayangku, lepaskanlah
perasaanmu, rindumu, seluruh cintamu
dan kini hanya ada aku dan dirimu
sesaat di keabadian
jika sang waktu bisa kita hentikan
dan segala mimpi-mimpi jadi kenyataan
meleburkan semua batas
antara kau dan aku, kita
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 06:59 pm by sacarstic
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Thursday, November 20, 2008
I have been his friend since more than three years ago
i fell in love with him once
but he chosed another woman
without i knew the reason
but we're still good friend until today
he still always be by my side
and share the joys and tears together
though i've tried to run from him
thousand miles away
But lately
he seems like regret for what he did to me few years back
sharing his bored life
telling me how regret he is after his marriage
realized that he luv me more than his wife
keep apologizing again and again
and i still giving him the best and nicest advices i could give
as what i did for all these years
....though once the pain really hurt me
to make my love happy is my happiness
i just want him to be happy
....though not with me
What will happen if he marry me three years ago?
What will happen if i don't change my future path three years ago?
What will happen if today i'm still in the same place three years ago?
i keep wondering bout these tonite
though its not today,
i know god will tell me the answers
some other day
... though many years from today...
"...saya sangat takut jika tidak sengaja menyakitkan hati dia, tapi saya lebih takut bila dia sengaja menghancurkan hati saya..." Posted at 06:35 pm by sacarstic
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